Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Once again it is early in the morning and I am not sleeping. I sure hope this cycle of sleeplessness goes away soon.
Monday was such a busy day. We had our family Christmas party with pizza. Not every year do we do pizza at Christmas, but we've done pizza at least once a year for a few years now. Jack had to go to work for a little bit in the morning, but he came home early and we left to go buy all the groceries and pizza boxes we would need for the day. We got to mom and dad's around 11:30 and started making pizza. We didn't stop until around 5. People started coming to eat around 2, so we had a few pizzas ready to go then. We ended up making about 15, which was less than we had planned, but people just didn't eat as many as we thought they would.
Dad is pretty sick from the chemo. It's hard to see him feeling so gross and looking so frail. My dad is a big strong guy and to see him stooped and feeling like bones is a difficult transition for all of us to see I think. Over all though I think he's doing rather well. He only has 2 chemo treatments left and he still has his hair. You could see it was coming out, but not in big clumps and fistfuls. He still has his eyebrows too. So maybe he won't totally loose his hair. Maybe it just waits until he's almost done before it will all come out. The hardest part is seeing how red and sore looking his eye is on that side. It just looks like it hurts and stings all the time. The side of his face is all red and sore looking as well from the radiation. I just hope it is all worth it.
Anyway, the pizza was a big success and everyone loved it.
Tuesday was an attempt to clean up and put things away. We managed to get everything but the tree put away. The Christmas towels were in the wash still so I couldn't put the ornaments away until they were done and the dryer is not drying very well, so it took all day to get them done. By the time they were finally dry, I was done dealing with it, so we'll do it today. I also got quite a bit of Christen's cross stitch done. I'm almost done with the upper spires, so that's good. We did get the rest of the house tidied up and looking fairly decent.
We'll open Spencer's mission call tonight, so I've got to get the living room put back together so we can fit a dozen people in the room. I also need to make some kind of treat to serve them...cookies probably. He has the day off, so he can help out.
It truly is amazing how quickly things are happening and changing around here. In the next 10 months Spencer will leave, Doug will get back, and Sam will get married. That's just the stuff we know about! Oh and Trevor will be a senior!! Total craziness! The thing is it's all good. I really can't complain about any of it.
I have also been coming around to Sam marrying Natayla. I don't remember how much I've written about how I feel about this, but maybe it's not such a bad thing. I do have to say that if I had my first choice, they wouldn't get married. They would find other people that make them really happy, so that other people could see how happy they are together. But, maybe she will help him learn how to deal with things head on instead of avoid and beat around the bush. He will have to be the one to take charge of things and that will be a good thing for him to learn. And maybe he can help her see that you don't have to be bossy and manipulative to get things done. I just hope she's not marrying him to get away from her family and he's not marrying her to save her. We'll have to see. But, my goal is to be supportive and helpful and make our home a good place for them to be and somewhere they want to spend time. I want her to feel accepted for who she is and that she can contribute and appreciated. It will be an interesting 9 months to say the least. And I really can see us having to do everything for the wedding, but we'll see what happens.
Well, I guess that's all for now. Hopefully sleep will come soon.

Monday, December 26, 2011

It really is Monday, but it's 1:30 in the A.M. so just barely. I needed to state what a wonderful Christmas it was before I forget what I'm feeling. I am so tired and ready to go to sleep! It really has been a wonderful day though. It started with good news on the scale...After breakfast I was curious, so I weighed myself. I normally never do it after I've eaten just because I like to do it with no food in my stomach. But, I weighed in at 204!! That means an even 20 pounds lost so far in just barely over 90 days! I was so happy! That means I've lost about 1 1/2 pounds per week. Not quite the 2 per week I started off doing, but better than the 1 per week that was/is my goal. It really has been relatively painless, very few days have I felt deprived and on the days I've gone over my calories if I would have exercised I would have been fine. My new goal for the next 90 days is to eat better food and exercise more regularly. But, if I can lose another 20 in the next 90 days, I'll be down 40 by Christen's wedding...which would put me at 184 and I would be really happy with that. That would mean I could be to my goal weight before Doug got home!
Next, Jack had to go into work, so he left early this morning and I started getting things ready for dinner. When he got home we opened presents and did all that fun stuff. We played with stuff and finished getting ready for dinner and then went to church. It's funny how times goes by so fast...it's a good thing I looked at the clock when I did or we wouldn't have even made it there. I happened to glance at the wall about 12:40...church started at 1 and I was supposed to be there early for choir! It was a good thing I had showered earlier in the day! We hurried and got ready and I ran out the door. Trevor and Sam came later, but Sam had forgotten Sunday shoes, so Jack let him use his and he stayed home. While we were at church we had the bishop check the status of Spencer's mission call and guess what!!! It's coming Wednesday!!!!!!!!! What a fantastic Christmas present! He immediately texted all of his friends planning for Wed night. What an amazing week we'll have!
After church we came home and set the tables and waited for Doug's call. We got to Skype this year and I can't believe how much I was looking forward to seeing him. Really seeing how he looked and not just how he sounded. What a blessing it was to see him. He called at 4 our time and we got to talk for an hour. It was so fun to be able to talk to him all at the same time and for everyone to hear what he had to say. It was amazing! Natalya came in the last 15 minutes or so, so he got to see her which was good. We also got to meet the Johns family who have really taken good care of Doug while he's been in Odessa. It was fun to meet their family...she came home from the hospital with her third child yesterday! I can't believe she still had the missionaries over the day after getting out of the hospital...with a 5 day old baby! What a wonderful woman! It's amazing how much it means to me to know there is someone out there that will watch after my boy when I can't.
Not too long after we hung up with Doug, Chuck and his family came over for dinner. Well, part of his family. Heather and Cameron didn't come and Christen worked all last night, so after they talked to Zac, she went home and went to bed. I'm sure she spent Christmas night with the Ivins after she woke up. So Chuck, Alysa, and Brandon were here with the 6 of us. We had a fantastic dinner with turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, green bean casserole, rolls, stuffing, pumpkin pie etc etc. I really went overboard and ate til I was sick. Then I indulged in some white chocolate popcorn. Not just a little bit either...alot. But, since starting myfitnesspal I've done really good and I decided to not worry about it for today, so I ate!
They stayed until about 8:30 and then headed home and we started watching a movie. Of course I fell asleep almost immediately and only woke up to watch the last 10 or so minutes. Now I'm awake with a growling stomach and a head ache, so it's a big drink of water and some tylenol for me, then bed.
Tomorrow ( or really today) is our family pizza party at mom and dad's, so that means up early to go shopping so we can do prep work before we head down there and then lots of work making lots of pizza for the family. It will be really good though, I'm looking forward to it.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Yesterday was a good day. I got all the pj's sewed, most of the presents wrapped. The only ones that aren't done are the ones too big to wrap, Spencer's luggage and Sam's laundry basket. I also got the white stocking made. I didn't quite get it done last night, but I finished it up this morning and it is now hanging on the mantle with the others. I am quite proud of myself...I followed a sewing pattern by myself, which I have never done before. I like it so much that I've decided to make us all new stockings out of this pattern. Not this year, but I might work on them off and on throughout the year. I need to find a different material though. I made this one out of velour and although it is lovely and soft, by the time I got the whole thing put together, the layers were so thick I had to hand sew the part with the hanger, it wouldn't go through the machine. I also used a really light, thin fabric for the lining instead of the velour like the pattern called for, so that would have been much worse. So, I'll spend some time looking around before I make ours.
For today I need to tidy up the living room from all my sewing mess, clean the kitchen which I haven't done for days since I've been sewing, and get dinner for tomorrow started. I invited Chuck and his family over since Mom and Dad aren't doing anything Christmas day. We'll have the morning to get dinner ready, then church at 1 (we're only having Sacrament meeting), then we'll open presents, and have dinner at 5.
Total change of subject but I have to say it before I forget, I ran my idea of the white stocking past Jack and though he didn't jump at it, he wasn't against it. I think it will be a good thing. I'm excited to tell the kids about it. I also thought it would be a fun thing to make one for each of the kids after they are married for their first Christmas ( I might have said this before, but in case I didn't).
Today I'll be alone for most of the day since Jack opened and both boys are closing. They'll be home hopefully in time for dinner and we'll open our pj's. Sam and Natalya will be here too, so it'll be a full house and I'm grateful. I have come to a realization this morning. For me now, Christmas really will be about family. Having everyone together will be the best Christmas present. I'm a little teary thinking about tomorrow when we'll all be here and we get to Skype with Doug..it'll be like having everyone here for a few minutes. This is what fills my heart with that warm Christmas magical feeling. Maybe I'm just sleep deprived (since Trevor didn't get done with work until 1:30 this morning and I've been up since 7), but it really makes me start to cry to think of everyone home and talking together. Christmas will be the only time that will happen for the next 4 years...and really the last 4 years too. But as more of the kids are gone and out of the house it is beginning to mean more.
Well, lots to do and little time to do it in, so I'm off
Merry Christmas 2011

December 23, 2011

Friday! No school! Ah, I love it! Today's list of things to do...finish sewing pj pants, (I have hems and elastic to finish in 4 pants!) cut out and sew Natayla's pj's (Sam's financee..long story, will get to it later), shop for, make a pattern, and sew a white stocking, wrap presents. White stocking explaination...for the young women this year Trisha Barnes, our young women's president, found a poem about a white stocking and how it was supposed to be the one for the Savior and how it was empty..forgotten. The only way to fill it is with presents from us to Him ie..things we want to change, things we'll do better etc. So we sewed little white stockings for all the girls. I have been thinking about our Christmas' and how they have lacked something since the boys have gotten older and I was thinking that this might be it. So, I'm going to attempt to make a white stocking and this year for Christmas Eve..or maybe Christmas Day, since it is on a Sunday, I'm going to introduce it to the family and see what they think. They've been really good about "Secret Santa" the years we've done it and love doing things for each other. I just tend to overromanticize things like this and then get irritated when Jack isn't as excited about it as I am and I feel like he sabotages it. Sometimes I get really tired of doing things on my own, so I just don't even try. Now, I'm not going to make this blog negative. I have thought about that alot these last couple of days and tried to decide what I wanted this to be...real, get it all out there, my one place to complain and say everything I'm thinking...or keep it nice because my kids might read it some day, stay positive because only negative things come from thinking and writing negatively, convince myself that I can handle things. I've decided to keep it positive. Maybe my kids will find this and I don't want them to think I'm always unhappy or I thought things were horrible, because I'm not and things aren't. I have a great life with a super family, a husband who loves me and takes care of me. That's what I want my kids to read and take from this if they ever do read it. I'm sure I'll slip and need to vent once in awhile, but that is life.
So, lots of things to do today, oh, plus I think I'm going to try to bake something for the neighbors. There's lots of years we haven't done anything, and maybe it still won't happen, but I'm going to try.
This morning I weighed 205 still which I am happy about. Wednesday Rebecca, Michele, Michelle, Roseann, and Tammy and I went to Zupa's for lunch, then yesterday Mr. Wallace brought in Melina's for the staff, so I've had 2 days of lots of food. I was a little worried about all of that, but so far it's not been bad. But, I have tried to stay away from all the treats. I did really good at school, didn't have anything! We've had a few treats dropped off and so far I haven't indulged. It's amazing how writing everything down with immediate consequences (calories, fat etc recorded right then) stops some behaviors. Everytime I think about getting something, I stop and wonder how hard it's going to be to record this and whether or not it's worth it. So far very few things have been worth it. It really has paid off though..down 19 pounds in 3 months...I just hope it continues to come off. I have about 40 left to go and I'm really hoping I'll have another 20 by March and Christen's wedding. Then have the rest gone by Sam's wedding in August. What a challenge!