Happy Birthday Eva! Today of all days I wish you were here. I wish your daughter could talk to you, not just spiritually, but physically, to say out loud all she is thinking and for her to be able to look into your eyes and see the expression on your face. I wish she could feel your arms around her holding her for the last time before she becomes a wife. I wish her dad could be with her in the temple. I am such a poor replacement for you. I know you can see her and see what a wonderful person she is. She is so happy! I've never seen her like this before. She has found an amazing man to marry. I love the way they look at each other, such love and devotion is in that look. They have what you and Chuck have and I am so grateful for that. I know you will be with her, have been with her, and will continue to be with her. But tomorrow especially, I pray she can feel you, smell you, know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are there beside her. I know that seems like I'm asking for a lot, but I know that it's possible and it seems like small compensation for having to be without you for so long here. I hope that she knows how much I love her and you. You have a wonderful family and soon they'll pull it back together again. Christen and Zac have made an impact on the rest of the family and I'm so grateful for the choices they have made. I have hope for Brandon and Alysa and Chuck. Heather is such a sweet, wonderful girl, oh how I hope she can pull herself together and let herself be happy. What can I do for her? How do I help her see what she is missing? I would love a magic pill that would allow me to see exactly what to say and when to say it and know that it made a difference in her. All I can think to do is to love her and that's a start.
Happy 46th Birthday to one of the most wonderful people I'll ever know.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
March 1, 2012
It's hard to believe that it's March already! We're only days away from Christen's wedding, Spencer's farewell, and his leaving. It's totally gone through the classic stages though...first it feels forever away and you do a few things to help make yourself feel like you are getting ready, then it gets closer so you start doing a few more things, and then one day you wake up and realize it's right here and you aren't ready and haven't done enough before now and it's full on panic mode. We're about to the panic mode stage right now.
I did find a cute dress pattern and mom is helping me a ton get my dress done. We made a couple of practice dresses first which both turned out really nice. But, there was a lot of changing, fitting, thinking, adjusting etc with them, so they took a while. I found some cute pink satin and bought that. It took a day to cut out and make the dress lining, then another day to cut out the dress (well, a couple of hours really, I didn't stay the whole day). Mom has been sewing on it this week and has the jacket to the point that it needs to be fitted and then she is going to start on the dress so that when I come down this weekend we can do fittings and finishings instead of sewing. That will put us several hours ahead of where we would be. We also need to finish bridesmaid dresses on Saturday as well. That's going to take several hours. So, I will get Trevor set up for his prom stuff and then head down to spend the rest of the day sewing.
Spencer and I actually have a good handle on his stuff. We did the last bit of his shopping yesterday. I have some last minute things to get him...hangers, laundry bag, storage stuff...but other than that, he is ready to go. Of course there is the cleaning and storing all the stuff, but we won't do that until his last week at home. Then we'll pack up as we clean so that won't be too bad. We made a list of food for his farewell and I'll be doing that the days between the wedding and the shower. Friday is a work day at school, so I'm not coming in that day and I'm going to take Thursday off as well to celebrate our anniversary, so I'll have Wed through Friday off, then Saturday and Sunday will be crazy. By Monday I'll need a day off to recover from my week off.
Last night was our spaghetti dinner fundraiser for the young men and young women. I thought it went much, much smoother than last year. There were still problems, but on the whole I was not nearly as frustrated and exhausted as the year before. We even made more money, so that's good. All I can say is, I'm glad it's over. Now we'll start focusing on camp :) ugh.
Well, got to get ready for school now
I did find a cute dress pattern and mom is helping me a ton get my dress done. We made a couple of practice dresses first which both turned out really nice. But, there was a lot of changing, fitting, thinking, adjusting etc with them, so they took a while. I found some cute pink satin and bought that. It took a day to cut out and make the dress lining, then another day to cut out the dress (well, a couple of hours really, I didn't stay the whole day). Mom has been sewing on it this week and has the jacket to the point that it needs to be fitted and then she is going to start on the dress so that when I come down this weekend we can do fittings and finishings instead of sewing. That will put us several hours ahead of where we would be. We also need to finish bridesmaid dresses on Saturday as well. That's going to take several hours. So, I will get Trevor set up for his prom stuff and then head down to spend the rest of the day sewing.
Spencer and I actually have a good handle on his stuff. We did the last bit of his shopping yesterday. I have some last minute things to get him...hangers, laundry bag, storage stuff...but other than that, he is ready to go. Of course there is the cleaning and storing all the stuff, but we won't do that until his last week at home. Then we'll pack up as we clean so that won't be too bad. We made a list of food for his farewell and I'll be doing that the days between the wedding and the shower. Friday is a work day at school, so I'm not coming in that day and I'm going to take Thursday off as well to celebrate our anniversary, so I'll have Wed through Friday off, then Saturday and Sunday will be crazy. By Monday I'll need a day off to recover from my week off.
Last night was our spaghetti dinner fundraiser for the young men and young women. I thought it went much, much smoother than last year. There were still problems, but on the whole I was not nearly as frustrated and exhausted as the year before. We even made more money, so that's good. All I can say is, I'm glad it's over. Now we'll start focusing on camp :) ugh.
Well, got to get ready for school now
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Saturday, Feb. 18, 2012
We are half way through Feb! I feel like it barely started and it's almost done. We now have less than a month til the wedding and six weeks for Spencer to leave. I have got to start thinking about Spencer's farwell and get that going. I haven't thought about it at all and it's time to start. Christen's cross-stitch is coming along...I am back-stitching now which is good progress. I still need to figure out the words, but I'll do that when I'm done with all the other stitching. Then we need to gather money from brothers and sisters for the framing and the other wedding presents we'll get for her. I think another sister needs to be in charge of that, but I don't know. I'll talk to Kim and Karen and see what they think. Kristin has her hands full with Kelli right now (well always, really) so I wouldn't want to add one more thing to her already full plate.
But for Spencer's farewell I think we'll do brunch foods. Bagels, muffins, breads, yogurt, cereal, milk, juice, etc. I'm just hoping it's not freezing cold and it will be dry because I'm not sure we'll be able to fit all these people into my house. We've never had anything in March that we couldn't use the church before, so I'm just not sure how this is going to work. And it's not at the end of March, it's in the middle...there could still be snow on the ground! So, we'll just pray that things work out ok.
We went shopping again this week..another $500 trip. But, I'm out of time, have to shower, take Trevor to work and get to Christen's final dress fitting!!
But for Spencer's farewell I think we'll do brunch foods. Bagels, muffins, breads, yogurt, cereal, milk, juice, etc. I'm just hoping it's not freezing cold and it will be dry because I'm not sure we'll be able to fit all these people into my house. We've never had anything in March that we couldn't use the church before, so I'm just not sure how this is going to work. And it's not at the end of March, it's in the middle...there could still be snow on the ground! So, we'll just pray that things work out ok.
We went shopping again this week..another $500 trip. But, I'm out of time, have to shower, take Trevor to work and get to Christen's final dress fitting!!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Monday, Feb 6, 2012
It's already Feb. and I'm still trying to get stuff done that needed to be finished in Jan. But I guess that's just the way it goes. Christen's shower is this Saturday! I wish I could say I felt good about where I am in the "getting stuff done" for it, but I'm not. I have made progress, but I'm sure Thurs and Fri will be spent doing nothing but shower stuff, that just seems to be the way I do things anymore. I am making these tissue paper pom poms that are so cute to hang from the ceiling. Melissa Andrus showed me how to make them a different way than I found on the internet and I love them. I'm doing white and different colors of pink. I'm also making different sizes to change it up a little and some small ones to put on the serving and eating tables. I think I'm going to try to come up with a couple of games just to have something else to do besides the quilt to tie. It should be fun. At least the food is assigned and taken care of..all I have to do is get some pink lemonade and the meat/cheese tray. I suppose I should shop for my gift at some point as well.
I have made no progress in finding a dress for the wedding. I have gone a couple of times to look, but it's still all winter colors so I have found nothing. I have also looked at some patterns since mom offered to help me sew something if I couldn't find anything to buy. I have had better luck finding patterns of dresses I like than actual dresses, so we'll see. Christen and I are going shopping on Wed. to see if we can find anything now that it's Feb. Hopefully the shops are starting to put out their spring clothes.
It also had worked out nicely to have Spencer and Christen go through the temple at the same time. They are going through Tues, the 14th! I can't think of a better way to spend Valentine's day! We are doing the 7 PM session, so we have to be there at 5:30. I'm not quite sure what to do with Trevor...maybe we'll leave him at Mom and Dad's house. But I'm glad that it worked out this way for Dad's sake. He is getting better and has managed to stay all 3 hours for church and he went through a temple session, so I'm hoping he will feel better enough to come.
Dad's radiation has stopped now as well as his chemo. He is still pretty sick and tired all the time, but he is improving. He's lost 45 pounds, but has kept his hair. His taste is still gone, but he is eating more each day. We haven't heard any news as far as whether or not his tests are clean yet. I'm not sure when those will come. He has an appointment Wed, so we'll see what they say. Here's to hoping for good news.
I have made no progress in finding a dress for the wedding. I have gone a couple of times to look, but it's still all winter colors so I have found nothing. I have also looked at some patterns since mom offered to help me sew something if I couldn't find anything to buy. I have had better luck finding patterns of dresses I like than actual dresses, so we'll see. Christen and I are going shopping on Wed. to see if we can find anything now that it's Feb. Hopefully the shops are starting to put out their spring clothes.
It also had worked out nicely to have Spencer and Christen go through the temple at the same time. They are going through Tues, the 14th! I can't think of a better way to spend Valentine's day! We are doing the 7 PM session, so we have to be there at 5:30. I'm not quite sure what to do with Trevor...maybe we'll leave him at Mom and Dad's house. But I'm glad that it worked out this way for Dad's sake. He is getting better and has managed to stay all 3 hours for church and he went through a temple session, so I'm hoping he will feel better enough to come.
Dad's radiation has stopped now as well as his chemo. He is still pretty sick and tired all the time, but he is improving. He's lost 45 pounds, but has kept his hair. His taste is still gone, but he is eating more each day. We haven't heard any news as far as whether or not his tests are clean yet. I'm not sure when those will come. He has an appointment Wed, so we'll see what they say. Here's to hoping for good news.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
New Beginnings is finally over and I can breathe again. It feels good to have it done. The girls did a really nice job and I think the evening was a success overall. Our theme was the theme for mutual this year..."Arise and Shine Forth". We watched the video that they made with the song for the year and then one of L. Tom Perry introducing the theme. We had each of the Beehives take a part explaining the Young Women's program and Personal Progress. We decorated with lamps. We had all the girls bring their lamps from home and put them around the room on tables that had the value color tablecloths on them. We also had some luminaries in the closet that were in the value colors and we put those on the tables with the lamps and cookies. The cookies were sugar cookies with yellow and orange frosting and the theme in powdered sugar. We also told the girls they could bring something that they had done for Personal Progress to display if they wanted to. For the closing song we sang a song the girls were asked to learn for ward conference (this Sunday). We gave them each a battery operated candle to hold while we sang. I'm not sure what it looked like because I was behind them all and couldn't see, but they sounded good for the first time. We also didn't turn on any over head lights. The only light in the room was from the lamps the girls brought. It was really nice..Kate brought a couple of floor lamps to put on either side of the podium so there was plenty of light to see and read with. It was actually quite bright in there like that. The effect was nice though and it set a nice tone for the evening. It was also just the right length. We started a little after 7 and I was cleaned up and home by 8:45. It was perfect.
Now that's over I have 2 weeks to get Christen's shower going. Invitations are out and food assignments are made, now I just have to figure out decorations if any and how I'm going to get into the church that day. Maybe if there is a game that isn't too obnoxious, we'll do that. Alysa came over yesterday and we got started on the afghan so that makes me feel better about that and I'm getting close to being ready to backstitch on the cross stitch, so that's coming along nicely. We are sewing bridesmaid dresses tomorrow and hopefully we'll be able to finish those up. Thnigs are getting done and it's good.
We went shopping for Spencer last week. We got one suit, his long sleeved shirts, his slacks, socks, and belts. Yesterday we were able to go pick up his suit and slacks, it was fun to see him in them. We are now working on a date for him to go through the temple which is proving difficult. Between Sam's and Jack's schedule it is getting beyond ridiculous. It's time to get this taken care of. I'm calling the temple today and we're going to get it scheduled before I go to bed tonight. Christen is going through on the 14th, but Jack can't go then because of work, so we'll have 2 different sessions going probably in the same week for these two kids. Dumb, but the way it has to be.
Now that's over I have 2 weeks to get Christen's shower going. Invitations are out and food assignments are made, now I just have to figure out decorations if any and how I'm going to get into the church that day. Maybe if there is a game that isn't too obnoxious, we'll do that. Alysa came over yesterday and we got started on the afghan so that makes me feel better about that and I'm getting close to being ready to backstitch on the cross stitch, so that's coming along nicely. We are sewing bridesmaid dresses tomorrow and hopefully we'll be able to finish those up. Thnigs are getting done and it's good.
We went shopping for Spencer last week. We got one suit, his long sleeved shirts, his slacks, socks, and belts. Yesterday we were able to go pick up his suit and slacks, it was fun to see him in them. We are now working on a date for him to go through the temple which is proving difficult. Between Sam's and Jack's schedule it is getting beyond ridiculous. It's time to get this taken care of. I'm calling the temple today and we're going to get it scheduled before I go to bed tonight. Christen is going through on the 14th, but Jack can't go then because of work, so we'll have 2 different sessions going probably in the same week for these two kids. Dumb, but the way it has to be.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
198! Plus, I took some measurements and that is really exciting too. I started with my neck at 15...it is now 14 inches. My waist was 38, it's now at 34.25. And hips were 47, they are now 44. I've lost almost 8 inches! I can tell too..my clothes fit differently all over. I didn't measure my arms, but maybe I should because that was the first place I noticed a difference. None of the shirts that were tight around my arms are tight anymore. My thigh measurement is 24 and my upper arm is 13. I'll try to remember next time I measure to do those too and see what the comparison is. It's been about 115 days since I started this and I'm really loving the results. 26 pounds!! I haven't lost that much weight since I had a baby. I also think this is the first time I've been under 200 since we moved here. When I wrecked my knee I weighed 200 just before the second surgery and I don't think I've been under it since. That was over 10 years ago. I'm just guessing because I never weighed regularly and I wasn't willing to do anything about it if I did, so I just didn't bother. But, I'm hoping to get back into some of those clothes I wore pretty soon. That's been the most annoying part of the whole gaining weight thing. I have lots of clothes I just haven't been able to wear and now I'm starting to be able to wear them again and I love it. I can't wait to get all the way back to where I was and maybe even less. My goal is about 160, but if I could get down to 140 that would be amazing.
Jack got called into the Primary last Sunday! He hasn't seved in the Primary since we were first married and team taught. The boys couldn't believe what they were hearing. The funnier thing about it is that he's teaching with Blake Garner. Those kids aren't going to dare say a word every Sunday. Big, bald, intimidating men those two are. I guess that class needs it though, lots of boys and a couple of girls. It makes me laugh to think about it. But he'll have fun, plus he'll have to stay to all 3 hours of church now, this will be really good for him.
We're ordaining Spencer an Elder next Sunday. Talk about reality check. This thing is coming soon! He wants to go shopping tomorrow too, so that should be interesting. After Sunday we'll look at dates for him to go through the temple and then we'll just concentrate on getting him ready to go. This thing will be here before we know it and I'd like to be a little bit ready for it. I really am going to miss him when he goes. He is such a good helper and always willing to do whatever. He's been alot of fun and I know Jack is really going to miss him. Having him at work everyday has been such a good thing for both of them. I think this one might be harder on Jack than on me. He'll miss him alot, everyday at work. Spencer and Trevor have been really good friends since he got back from California too, so Trevor is going to have a hard time with this as well. It's just been the two of them for quite awhile and Trevor is going to be rather lonely. But, we'll muddle through and be ok.
New Beginnings is coming up...a week from today in fact. I have had several freak out moments over all the things going on in January, but they are coming to a close now and I've managed to get through them ok. Our moms and daughters night was good. We got alot of the girls signed up online and it was a good night. We've got just a few more things to get done for New Beginnings and then we're ready for that. I've got the invitations and programs made as well as the slideshow put together. We've got to make the flowers and make sure all the girls know what they are doing and then we're done. I will be glad when this night is over.
I think that's about all I really need to talk about now and I really should get ready for school.
Jack got called into the Primary last Sunday! He hasn't seved in the Primary since we were first married and team taught. The boys couldn't believe what they were hearing. The funnier thing about it is that he's teaching with Blake Garner. Those kids aren't going to dare say a word every Sunday. Big, bald, intimidating men those two are. I guess that class needs it though, lots of boys and a couple of girls. It makes me laugh to think about it. But he'll have fun, plus he'll have to stay to all 3 hours of church now, this will be really good for him.
We're ordaining Spencer an Elder next Sunday. Talk about reality check. This thing is coming soon! He wants to go shopping tomorrow too, so that should be interesting. After Sunday we'll look at dates for him to go through the temple and then we'll just concentrate on getting him ready to go. This thing will be here before we know it and I'd like to be a little bit ready for it. I really am going to miss him when he goes. He is such a good helper and always willing to do whatever. He's been alot of fun and I know Jack is really going to miss him. Having him at work everyday has been such a good thing for both of them. I think this one might be harder on Jack than on me. He'll miss him alot, everyday at work. Spencer and Trevor have been really good friends since he got back from California too, so Trevor is going to have a hard time with this as well. It's just been the two of them for quite awhile and Trevor is going to be rather lonely. But, we'll muddle through and be ok.
New Beginnings is coming up...a week from today in fact. I have had several freak out moments over all the things going on in January, but they are coming to a close now and I've managed to get through them ok. Our moms and daughters night was good. We got alot of the girls signed up online and it was a good night. We've got just a few more things to get done for New Beginnings and then we're ready for that. I've got the invitations and programs made as well as the slideshow put together. We've got to make the flowers and make sure all the girls know what they are doing and then we're done. I will be glad when this night is over.
I think that's about all I really need to talk about now and I really should get ready for school.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
201 this morning!!! I am so excited about getting to this point! I can't wait until I am consistently under 200. I would love to be around 185-190 for Christen's wedding which would be 12-17 pounds by March. That is only 9 weeks away. I'd have to get back to losing 2 pounds a week to make it, but I'm going to try really hard. I readjusted my goals on MFP and it cut 100 calories off my daily intake so hopefully I'll be able to do that and it will jump start my losing again. I slowed down during the holidays so now I need to get back into it. I have been walking pretty regularly for the last week or so. I'm hoping that will help kick things back to where they were when I first started. 100's here I come!
The knot in the pit of my stomach is almost gone. I talked to Trisha on Sunday and she said she always feels the same way, walking on eggshells, wondering when she's going to get yelled at again. I really didn't even want to go to church yesterday because of it. I have never felt this way in a calling before. Not that I remember anyway. I goofed up when I was first RS pres, but was never treated like everything I said and did was questioned and second guessed and that I couldn't handle things. I guess I just need to learn something that I haven't figured out yet. Time to spend a little more time on my knees and hopefully we can all move in a positive direction. It's pretty sad though when the whole presidency and the camp director all feel the same way. I've got to get over being bugged though.
It sounds like I might get a little bit of peace from the McGee's now. The wedding is all but planned and I didn't have to go anywhere with them. They found her dress, have a photographer, chose the colors, picked the food for the reception, and chose the flowers. I might just get the rest of Jan, Feb, and March to myself in peace. I'll have to work on an invite list, but I can handle that. I'm just glad this hasn't turned into a major power play between the two of us, because I'm not going to play her games. I'm wondering how this next 8 months is going to go though because Sam and Natalya have already been in a fight over him not coming up this past weekend. There is no way he'll be able to come up every weekend if they are going to make it to August and still go to the temple, so he decided to stay home last weekend. She was mad at him for it. I'm not sure what all happened but I think he'll get a good taste of how manipulative and controlling she really is and whether or not he'll be able to live with it the rest of his life. I'm not sure to what extent she is like that, but I know she has those tendencies. She pouts and throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way, so we'll see how bad it really is.
I am making really good progress on Christen's cross-stitch. I have run myself out of two colors, but I'll wait until there's nothing else to do before I go get them. I'd say I'm about a third of the way done with most of that being done in the last week. It's coming along which is good because time is running out and there's still alot to do!
Well, out of time again. Work today should be fun. Hopefully this week won't feel as long as last week did!
The knot in the pit of my stomach is almost gone. I talked to Trisha on Sunday and she said she always feels the same way, walking on eggshells, wondering when she's going to get yelled at again. I really didn't even want to go to church yesterday because of it. I have never felt this way in a calling before. Not that I remember anyway. I goofed up when I was first RS pres, but was never treated like everything I said and did was questioned and second guessed and that I couldn't handle things. I guess I just need to learn something that I haven't figured out yet. Time to spend a little more time on my knees and hopefully we can all move in a positive direction. It's pretty sad though when the whole presidency and the camp director all feel the same way. I've got to get over being bugged though.
It sounds like I might get a little bit of peace from the McGee's now. The wedding is all but planned and I didn't have to go anywhere with them. They found her dress, have a photographer, chose the colors, picked the food for the reception, and chose the flowers. I might just get the rest of Jan, Feb, and March to myself in peace. I'll have to work on an invite list, but I can handle that. I'm just glad this hasn't turned into a major power play between the two of us, because I'm not going to play her games. I'm wondering how this next 8 months is going to go though because Sam and Natalya have already been in a fight over him not coming up this past weekend. There is no way he'll be able to come up every weekend if they are going to make it to August and still go to the temple, so he decided to stay home last weekend. She was mad at him for it. I'm not sure what all happened but I think he'll get a good taste of how manipulative and controlling she really is and whether or not he'll be able to live with it the rest of his life. I'm not sure to what extent she is like that, but I know she has those tendencies. She pouts and throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way, so we'll see how bad it really is.
I am making really good progress on Christen's cross-stitch. I have run myself out of two colors, but I'll wait until there's nothing else to do before I go get them. I'd say I'm about a third of the way done with most of that being done in the last week. It's coming along which is good because time is running out and there's still alot to do!
Well, out of time again. Work today should be fun. Hopefully this week won't feel as long as last week did!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Thursday, Jan 5, 2012
Why is it that I feel the need to write when I am stressed and unhappy? Is it because getting it down on paper makes it feel more managable, or that once it's out it relieves the stress? I don't know for sure, but I probably should have noticed this pattern a long time ago. Also, I have more time to write when I don't sleep and I don't sleep when I'm stressed and unhappy. That may be it.
So for a wedding that is 8 months away there sure are a lot of decisions and requests for money flying around right now. I guess I'm glad they are getting things done and decisions made, I just wish they wouldn't include me in all of it. I know I'm stressed already and this is just adding that extra layer onto it and that may be the only reason it is bugging me so much. It also could be that I've already asked them to not include me until April and that is not happening, or it could be that deep down (well, not very deep) I really don't want this wedding to happen. I know I've said what I've said and I really do mean it, about accepting her and making our home a good place for her to be, and all of that. I am sincere about that, but I just really don't want them to get married. I still think they are wrong for each other and I think this marriage is going to be extremely difficult and may not last. But what do I do? Nothing. Jack and I have told both of them how we feel and there's nothing to be done about it except do the best we can. I guess in my mind there is still 8 months for them to wake up and realize it's not going to work, then all this that we are doing now will be useless. I truly hope they are not spending money right now, that would be a huge mistake as far as I'm concerned. But then again, no one is asking me.
Young women is difficult right now too. Something has got to change and I'm not sure what. Maybe me. Probably me. Ok, me, I've got to change my attitude and the way I approach my calling. I am still in the mind set of not really putting my spirit into this calling. I'm doing the outside, but not the inside. I also feel like I have no help. I have 3 ladies that sit and talk to each other while I run the show. That has to stop, it's making me grumpy. I'm not sure if it's because they don't feel invested or because it's just the way they are. I've talked to them about taking charge of activities, but when it comes right down to it, nothing happens. Then they don't come to presidency meetings to know what is going on. When asked specifically to do something they do it, but it is making me be a micro-manager and I don't want to be that. I'm also expecting too much of my girls I think. They don't make phone calls, they say they can't get a hold of people, things don't get passed on etc etc. But I really can't complain about that because I really am bad at calling everyone and letting them know if there's a change. It is really easy when I can just text them...that works out really well, but we have one with no cell and so she gets forgotten and I forget to have someone call her or I don't call her. Then that causes problems. I'm just hoping that it all smooths out real soon and we can get a rhythm going because it really is alot of work. I don't mind busy, but it needs to be less work and more sharing responsibility, less me and more cooperation. I guess that will be my focus for this year.
Christen's cross-stitch is coming along nicely. Of course we still have sewing to do, lots of sewing. I'm not sure how much I can help her with that though. It's going to have to be her and her bridesmaids and when they can do it. I would like to look for a new temple dress though...I wonder if you can look at patterns online. That might be worth checking into.
So for a wedding that is 8 months away there sure are a lot of decisions and requests for money flying around right now. I guess I'm glad they are getting things done and decisions made, I just wish they wouldn't include me in all of it. I know I'm stressed already and this is just adding that extra layer onto it and that may be the only reason it is bugging me so much. It also could be that I've already asked them to not include me until April and that is not happening, or it could be that deep down (well, not very deep) I really don't want this wedding to happen. I know I've said what I've said and I really do mean it, about accepting her and making our home a good place for her to be, and all of that. I am sincere about that, but I just really don't want them to get married. I still think they are wrong for each other and I think this marriage is going to be extremely difficult and may not last. But what do I do? Nothing. Jack and I have told both of them how we feel and there's nothing to be done about it except do the best we can. I guess in my mind there is still 8 months for them to wake up and realize it's not going to work, then all this that we are doing now will be useless. I truly hope they are not spending money right now, that would be a huge mistake as far as I'm concerned. But then again, no one is asking me.
Young women is difficult right now too. Something has got to change and I'm not sure what. Maybe me. Probably me. Ok, me, I've got to change my attitude and the way I approach my calling. I am still in the mind set of not really putting my spirit into this calling. I'm doing the outside, but not the inside. I also feel like I have no help. I have 3 ladies that sit and talk to each other while I run the show. That has to stop, it's making me grumpy. I'm not sure if it's because they don't feel invested or because it's just the way they are. I've talked to them about taking charge of activities, but when it comes right down to it, nothing happens. Then they don't come to presidency meetings to know what is going on. When asked specifically to do something they do it, but it is making me be a micro-manager and I don't want to be that. I'm also expecting too much of my girls I think. They don't make phone calls, they say they can't get a hold of people, things don't get passed on etc etc. But I really can't complain about that because I really am bad at calling everyone and letting them know if there's a change. It is really easy when I can just text them...that works out really well, but we have one with no cell and so she gets forgotten and I forget to have someone call her or I don't call her. Then that causes problems. I'm just hoping that it all smooths out real soon and we can get a rhythm going because it really is alot of work. I don't mind busy, but it needs to be less work and more sharing responsibility, less me and more cooperation. I guess that will be my focus for this year.
Christen's cross-stitch is coming along nicely. Of course we still have sewing to do, lots of sewing. I'm not sure how much I can help her with that though. It's going to have to be her and her bridesmaids and when they can do it. I would like to look for a new temple dress though...I wonder if you can look at patterns online. That might be worth checking into.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)