Sunday, January 27, 2013

New Beginnings is over...YAY!! It was lovely and the only thing that really was a problem was that when you leave girls to decorate things by themselves it sometimes looks a mess. But, then you send older girls in to help and it turns out just fine. I also had a glitch with my part of it, but that's just the way things go with technology. I had pulled up the video I wanted to use and had it down in the task bar waiting, exactly where I wanted to start. Then Trish handed me the cd to use for prelude music. That's great, I put it in and didn't think about it at all. When I went to start the video, I pushed resume expecting it to start my video where I had paused it, but nope...it started playing the cd again...ARRRGGGGHHHH!!! So then I had to find the video again, forward it to where I wanted it to play and then it was ok again. Sheesh! But, it was ok, because we had a scroll to hand out to the girls and we were trying to decide when the best time to do that would be and so Shelly did it while I was futzing with the computer, so it worked out fine. I just hate it when stuff like that happens...I try to be so prepared and have everything lined up, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. Since I already had windows media player open for the video when I put the cd in, it just used the media player to play rather than itunes opening like I figured it would. Hopefully I'll remember that next time and open itunes first. Live and learn I guess...my problem will be recalling what I've learned when I need it again. But, I think it was a successful night and the girls did a really good job with their parts. I thought it before at camp and I was reminded again of what a good girl Peyton Garner is. She was the only one out of all the girls and the leaders that stayed until the end of all the clean up with Trish and I. Katy had to go get her kids so I understand that one, but the others helped for a bit and then left. I'll never get that, I guess it's just not in my nature, but as a leader I would think you would feel a little responsible to help until it's done. Oh well. Good News!! Dad had his "end of radiation" test done and it's good news!! The two tumors they were targeting have shrunk AND the other tumors have not grown! In the past couple of months there has been no growth which is far beyond what they were expecting. They only gave him 4 to 6 months to live and so they were expecting massive growth and spreading and none of that has happened. He also has had no symptoms yet...no coughing, no shortness of breath, nothing which is more good news. He's drinking two different types of tea, eat blueberries, staying away from sugar, and taking frankincense as holistic approaches since there's not a lot modern medicine can do for him and something seems to be working. We'll take every day we can get! Spencer seems to be completely better now. He hasn't said anything about headaches or other symptoms from his concussion, so I'm assuming that has healed. He is working hard and getting along with his companion and members in both of his wards, so that is good news as well. I seem to have hit my limit of attention I can give to this today :)

Sunday, January 20. 2013

Another week down, another week of school, work, laundry, cleaning, eating, making messes, not wanting to clean them up, wasting time, being productive, etc etc. I will be glad to have New Beginnings over this Wednesday. There has been a lot to do to get ready for it and I know it's not really true but I have felt a disproportionate amount of work has been given to me. I think it's because of the stress between Trish and Katie, but I will be really glad that it is over. I know things are always like this before something big so I'm trying to not get too worked up about it all. There is still lots to do and we're getting close on time. Today and tomorrow (holiday, no school, no Wendy's...YAY!!) I will spend getting all the last minute things done...my ending talk, projector borrowed, stepping stones done with girls, cake picks made. Plus I am determined to get Christmas put away as well. I always do this...make big long lists of things to do on my days off, but this is stuff that has got to be done or there will be trouble! Oh, I also want to get as much done as possible on Alysa's baby set. Reo-Marie was born this past week so I need to hurry and get her present done. Nope, not too much to do in not enough time. Of course it would help if I wouldn't spend so much time on the computer doing silly things and wasting all that time. I've also been struggling with my skin this past week or so. My face is so dry I am flaking and I look like I'm 70 years old. I'm writing this down now and tagging it so next winter when it happens again I can look back and see that it was about this time. It seems like it happens every winter about now, but I haven't really written it down to keep track. I'm also trying to decide if it has anything to do with what I am using to wash my face with. Right now I am using Oil of Olay plus some coconut oil with frankincense and lavender in it. I started with the Oil of Olay only and that wasn't working...dried my skin out a little. Then I started using the oil with frank in it because frankincense is supposed to be good for the skin and age spots. That seemed to make it worse...or is it just because of the freezing cold temperatures..not sure. So then I put the lavender with it and it still is horrible, so I stopped using the coconut oil thinking that might be making it worse. Instead I just added the frank and lavender straight to the lotion. It still is bad...it's hard to say to what degree if any not using the coconut oil has helped or maybe it's because it hasn't been in the single digits temperature-wise any more. Who knows...but my conclusion is this...next month I am going to buy some Mary Kay. I have got to do something about this because not only do I feel like I want to scratch my face off, I look terrible. I'm drinking lots of water to make sure dehydration isn't part of the problem as well. I seem to remember doing this with Mary Kay as well, but we'll just have to see next year. There has got to be something that I can do to stop this from happening every winter.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

198! Plus, I took some measurements and that is really exciting too. I started with my neck at 15...it is now 14 inches. My waist was 38, it's now at 34.25. And hips were 47, they are now 44. I've lost almost 8 inches! I can tell too..my clothes fit differently all over. I didn't measure my arms, but maybe I should because that was the first place I noticed a difference. None of the shirts that were tight around my arms are tight anymore. My thigh measurement is 24 and my upper arm is 13. I'll try to remember next time I measure to do those too and see what the comparison is. It's been about 115 days since I started this and I'm really loving the results. 26 pounds!! I haven't lost that much weight since I had a baby. I also think this is the first time I've been under 200 since we moved here. When I wrecked my knee I weighed 200 just before the second surgery and I don't think I've been under it since. That was over 10 years ago. I'm just guessing because I never weighed regularly and I wasn't willing to do anything about it if I did, so I just didn't bother. But, I'm hoping to get back into some of those clothes I wore pretty soon. That's been the most annoying part of the whole gaining weight thing. I have lots of clothes I just haven't been able to wear and now I'm starting to be able to wear them again and I love it. I can't wait to get all the way back to where I was and maybe even less. My goal is about 160, but if I could get down to 140 that would be amazing.
Jack got called into the Primary last Sunday! He hasn't seved in the Primary since we were first married and team taught. The boys couldn't believe what they were hearing. The funnier thing about it is that he's teaching with Blake Garner. Those kids aren't going to dare say a word every Sunday. Big, bald, intimidating men those two are. I guess that class needs it though, lots of boys and a couple of girls. It makes me laugh to think about it. But he'll have fun, plus he'll have to stay to all 3 hours of church now, this will be really good for him.
We're ordaining Spencer an Elder next Sunday. Talk about reality check. This thing is coming soon! He wants to go shopping tomorrow too, so that should be interesting. After Sunday we'll look at dates for him to go through the temple and then we'll just concentrate on getting him ready to go. This thing will be here before we know it and I'd like to be a little bit ready for it. I really am going to miss him when he goes. He is such a good helper and always willing to do whatever. He's been alot of fun and I know Jack is really going to miss him. Having him at work everyday has been such a good thing for both of them. I think this one might be harder on Jack than on me. He'll miss him alot, everyday at work. Spencer and Trevor have been really good friends since he got back from California too, so Trevor is going to have a hard time with this as well. It's just been the two of them for quite awhile and Trevor is going to be rather lonely. But, we'll muddle through and be ok.
New Beginnings is coming up...a week from today in fact. I have had several freak out moments over all the things going on in January, but they are coming to a close now and I've managed to get through them ok. Our moms and daughters night was good. We got alot of the girls signed up online and it was a good night. We've got just a few more things to get done for New Beginnings and then we're ready for that. I've got the invitations and programs made as well as the slideshow put together. We've got to make the flowers and make sure all the girls know what they are doing and then we're done. I will be glad when this night is over.
I think that's about all I really need to talk about now and I really should get ready for school.

Monday, January 9, 2012

201 this morning!!! I am so excited about getting to this point! I can't wait until I am consistently under 200. I would love to be around 185-190 for Christen's wedding which would be 12-17 pounds by March. That is only 9 weeks away. I'd have to get back to losing 2 pounds a week to make it, but I'm going to try really hard. I readjusted my goals on MFP and it cut 100 calories off my daily intake so hopefully I'll be able to do that and it will jump start my losing again. I slowed down during the holidays so now I need to get back into it. I have been walking pretty regularly for the last week or so. I'm hoping that will help kick things back to where they were when I first started. 100's here I come!
The knot in the pit of my stomach is almost gone. I talked to Trisha on Sunday and she said she always feels the same way, walking on eggshells, wondering when she's going to get yelled at again. I really didn't even want to go to church yesterday because of it. I have never felt this way in a calling before. Not that I remember anyway. I goofed up when I was first RS pres, but was never treated like everything I said and did was questioned and second guessed and that I couldn't handle things. I guess I just need to learn something that I haven't figured out yet. Time to spend a little more time on my knees and hopefully we can all move in a positive direction. It's pretty sad though when the whole presidency and the camp director all feel the same way. I've got to get over being bugged though.
It sounds like I might get a little bit of peace from the McGee's now. The wedding is all but planned and I didn't have to go anywhere with them. They found her dress, have a photographer, chose the colors, picked the food for the reception, and chose the flowers. I might just get the rest of Jan, Feb, and March to myself in peace. I'll have to work on an invite list, but I can handle that. I'm just glad this hasn't turned into a major power play between the two of us, because I'm not going to play her games. I'm wondering how this next 8 months is going to go though because Sam and Natalya have already been in a fight over him not coming up this past weekend. There is no way he'll be able to come up every weekend if they are going to make it to August and still go to the temple, so he decided to stay home last weekend. She was mad at him for it. I'm not sure what all happened but I think he'll get a good taste of how manipulative and controlling she really is and whether or not he'll be able to live with it the rest of his life. I'm not sure to what extent she is like that, but I know she has those tendencies. She pouts and throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way, so we'll see how bad it really is.
I am making really good progress on Christen's cross-stitch. I have run myself out of two colors, but I'll wait until there's nothing else to do before I go get them. I'd say I'm about a third of the way done with most of that being done in the last week. It's coming along which is good because time is running out and there's still alot to do!
Well, out of time again. Work today should be fun. Hopefully this week won't feel as long as last week did!

Thursday, Jan 5, 2012

Why is it that I feel the need to write when I am stressed and unhappy? Is it because getting it down on paper makes it feel more managable, or that once it's out it relieves the stress? I don't know for sure, but I probably should have noticed this pattern a long time ago. Also, I have more time to write when I don't sleep and I don't sleep when I'm stressed and unhappy. That may be it.
So for a wedding that is 8 months away there sure are a lot of decisions and requests for money flying around right now. I guess I'm glad they are getting things done and decisions made, I just wish they wouldn't include me in all of it. I know I'm stressed already and this is just adding that extra layer onto it and that may be the only reason it is bugging me so much. It also could be that I've already asked them to not include me until April and that is not happening, or it could be that deep down (well, not very deep) I really don't want this wedding to happen. I know I've said what I've said and I really do mean it, about accepting her and making our home a good place for her to be, and all of that. I am sincere about that, but I just really don't want them to get married. I still think they are wrong for each other and I think this marriage is going to be extremely difficult and may not last. But what do I do? Nothing. Jack and I have told both of them how we feel and there's nothing to be done about it except do the best we can. I guess in my mind there is still 8 months for them to wake up and realize it's not going to work, then all this that we are doing now will be useless. I truly hope they are not spending money right now, that would be a huge mistake as far as I'm concerned. But then again, no one is asking me.
Young women is difficult right now too. Something has got to change and I'm not sure what. Maybe me. Probably me. Ok, me, I've got to change my attitude and the way I approach my calling. I am still in the mind set of not really putting my spirit into this calling. I'm doing the outside, but not the inside. I also feel like I have no help. I have 3 ladies that sit and talk to each other while I run the show. That has to stop, it's making me grumpy. I'm not sure if it's because they don't feel invested or because it's just the way they are. I've talked to them about taking charge of activities, but when it comes right down to it, nothing happens. Then they don't come to presidency meetings to know what is going on. When asked specifically to do something they do it, but it is making me be a micro-manager and I don't want to be that. I'm also expecting too much of my girls I think. They don't make phone calls, they say they can't get a hold of people, things don't get passed on etc etc. But I really can't complain about that because I really am bad at calling everyone and letting them know if there's a change. It is really easy when I can just text them...that works out really well, but we have one with no cell and so she gets forgotten and I forget to have someone call her or I don't call her. Then that causes problems. I'm just hoping that it all smooths out real soon and we can get a rhythm going because it really is alot of work. I don't mind busy, but it needs to be less work and more sharing responsibility, less me and more cooperation. I guess that will be my focus for this year.
Christen's cross-stitch is coming along nicely. Of course we still have sewing to do, lots of sewing. I'm not sure how much I can help her with that though. It's going to have to be her and her bridesmaids and when they can do it. I would like to look for a new temple dress though...I wonder if you can look at patterns online. That might be worth checking into.